Monday 16 February 2009

Why Brian Noble is even more of a pillock than usual.

Brian Noble's comments of last Sunday's Super League Show just about shows the attitudes of almost every single coach in Super League towards bringing in young British players. The only reason they are doing so at the moment is because they have to to get a license and under RFL quotas. And even if a youngster does come through the ranks and plays Super League, he is hardly given a chance afterwards because he is judged as simply not up to the standard required at domestic level. I offer a solution.

Noble's way is all about abandoning the current scholarships and academys, and poaching players from the other code. These youngsters will either have to live away from home, or come from the books of Sale Sharks, who are the nearest Guinness Premiership side in the country to either Lancashire or Yorkshire. For Harlequins, Celtic and Catalan, Noble's comments will proably please them more than anyone else in RL. All three clubs are situated in RU dominated areas, and the majority of their young players probably played union before seeing the light.

The fact of the matter is, Noble's comment is unfeasable. For a club expected to pay £50,000 for a young union player with potential is simply not good business. If he wises to do that with Wigan, the so be it. But to publically come out and say on television what he did, those reading between the lines will know that he is unhappy with what the British RL game has to offer in terms of development.

Is it time to change the way young players are grown in this country?

Monday 9 February 2009

A Tap on the Twenty: Poll results.

It seems you all have mixed feelings towards the new 'top 8' play off format. Out of nine votes cast, 33% hated the new system of deciding the European Champions while a further 22% didn't like it but saw some advantages to it. Only one person really loved it but three others saw it's disadvantages, but gave it the thumbs up anyway.

Results
I love the format: 11% (1)
I like it, but I think it has its disadvantages: 33% (3)
I'm staying neutral of this topic: 0% (0)
I don't like it, but I can see the advantages to it: 22% (2)
I hate it the format: 33% (3)

Wednesday 4 February 2009

Super League XIV preview

OK, lets get serious for a change. With the season beginning in a few days time, its time for A Tap on the Twenty to assess the 14 teams competing in this years competition.

Bradford
For the past two years I have been adamant that Bradford will under perform and are slowly back tracking from the great side they once were. Ever since Brain Noble left, they have never reproduced the form they once had. Back then they had the biggest and most fearsome pack in the competition. Since then, they seem to have done a Fern Britton and lost more than a few pounds. having said that, this year they seem to have made it up with speed in the backs.
Prediction: 6th

Castleford
Surprised a few teams last year and I believe that it set the foundations for a promising year in 2009. Signings look promising, while a bit of deadwood has been shifted in the likes of Luke Dorn et al. They won't make the play offs, but with an extra two teams added to the competition, they should be looking for a few more wins.
Prediction: 13th

Catalan
Its easy to say Catalan overanchived last year, but I can see them repeating that feat this year as well. Its never easy to go to the south of France and take points away. In fact last year, Catalan did the basic thing in achieving success and thats win your home games. Only ten points were taken away from Perpignan last year in total, turning their renovated home ground into a mini fortress. They will miss Mick Potter, but if they make playing in the south of France difficult for visiting teams again, they will go far.
Prediction: 3rd

Celtic
The new Welsh side have it all to do this year. Many Championship sides feel done over by the licensing that allowed Celtic into Super League, but overall few will be complaining if the back room staff make a success of the club. In fairness, they have recruited pretty well. Mark Bryant, Stephen Tyrer and the promising Matty Smith is mixing youth with experience in a side that is by far and away looking to the future.
Prediction: 14th

Harlequins
I worry for Harlequins this year. They don't seem to have made any improvements to their side and seemed to be thankful for finishing 9th last year. Brian McDermott has been talking up Harlequins' prospects of a good season by claiming they can make the Grand Final. I personally can't them coming close to the play offs. They have lost a lot of pace and don't seem to have replaced it.
Prediction: 10th

Huddersfield

New coach, Nathan Brown, is not afraid of mincing his words when it comes down to the nitty gritty. Last year as coach of St George-Illawarra, he led an outburst that criticised Melbourne's style of play. It will be tight but they can make the play offs. I think Brown will make sure they do, with his key signing Brett Hodgson. Had Todd Carney been granted a visa, they would be looking for a top six finish giving them home advantage in the first play off game.
Prediction: 8th

Hull FC
You know, I could have sworn I rated this team highly 12 months ago. A total self destruction hampered their league season, but showed they have what it takes to make a major final by travelling to Wembley. I think Shaun Berrigan can step into the form he had at Brisbane this year. Chris Thorman adds a different dimension compared to Adam Dykes while Tongan star, Sam Moa adds size to the pack in the absence of Gareth Carvell.
Prediction: 7th

Hull KR
While writing a draft for this piece, it was really difficult trying to support an argument for Hull KR to make the play offs. But thats not supposed to be a criticism, believe it or not. They have one of the best coaches in the league, their fair share of international players and fans that deserve to see their side reaching the hights to Super League. But the writing doesn't seem to be on the wall for KR to make the eight. For me, theres something missing that can change KR from a play off contender, to a really dominant side. If I know what it was, I'd tell you.
Prediction: 9th

Leeds
Once again, and to the surprise of many, Leeds go into their new campaign as re-crowned champions. Two weeks after their first play off game at Saints, it looked like the home side would run away with the trophy at Old Trafford as well. To make things worse for the rest of Super League, they seem to have recruited very well. Greg Eastwood would be their best signing of the off season had they not snapped up Danny Buderus as well. Eastwood is a straight swap for the departed Gareth Ellis, while Buderus is likely to restrict Matt Diskin's playing time. If they can reproduce a Cunningham-Roby partnership, Leeds will have no trouble becoming the first side to win Super League three times in a row.
Prediction: 1st

Salford
Last years National League 1 winners, and in dramatic style against their Welsh Super League opponents this year. It seems as a result, Shaun McRae has recruited extremely well. He has picked up workhorse Rob Parker, Saints supreme scorer Willie Talau, Ray Cashmere and Jeremy Smith. Although I'm pretty sure McRae signed the wrong Jeremy Smith, this one came from South Sydney. Either way, with the experience of Robbie Paul and the youth of Richard Myler, Salford could be looking to challenge for a play off spot.
Prediction: 10th

St Helens
Nothing gave the rest of Lancashire more pleasure than seeing Sainst fall to Leeds for the second time in a row when they were odds on favourites to take Super League. This year Sainst will not dominate the year like they are used to. Paul Sculthorpe has left for good and cannot influence the dressing room, while the dangerous left hand partnership between Francis Meli and Willie Talau has been broken up. Fozzard loses them go forward, although that has been replaced by Tony Puletua. A new coach may also take time to used to, especially with a brand new squad.
Prediction: 2nd

Wakefield
I hate to bring this up, but how will the death of Adam Watene affect the rest of the squad? As professional sportsmen, it will make sence for them to dust themselves off and really give it a go in his memory. On paper, however, they don't look like a team capable of achieving a play off place despite falling a few rounds short mathematically.
Prediction: 11th

Warrington
They still have their disapponting big name players in Matt King and Michael Monaghan, but this year there has been very little noise coming from the players and coaching staff this year. Maybe all the energy is going into preperation instead of bigging themselves up like they have done for the past two seasons. The major loss is Rob Parker, but he has been replaced by Gareth Carvell. At the same time, Mark Gleeson's replacement is the critially accliamed Micky Higham. Wigan fans were really disappointed to see the hooker go, but what is Wigan's loss is surley Warrington's gain?
Prediction: 5th

Wigan
A number of Wigan's key players need to stand up and be counted this season. Stuart Fielden is one noticable example. His last two good performances were against Wests in the 2006 WCC and in his Wigan debut the same year. Since then, he has lost his international shirt and become the subject of a large amount of riddicule since being hit in the face by Willie Mason. Gareth Hock and Sean O'Loughlin have never really lived up to their big name status either. Brian Noble must get the best out of these players, or new signings Mark Riddell and Amos Roberts must be wondering what they have signed up for.
Prediction: 4th

Sunday 1 February 2009

Can anyting more bizzare happen in Rugby League during 2009?

Mystic Meg could predict the future lottery winners. Can we predict who will win Super League? Let us peer into our crystal ball and tell you the future of Rugby League in 2009.

February
Celtic arrive at Headingley with only nine players eligible to play in the season opener live on SKY. As a last resort to screen the game and not put the sport into disrepute, Celtic recruit a wide range of eligible players who haven't been affected by the eagerness of the Home Office to prevent overseas players getting UK visas. A list of these include Jonathon Davis, John Bevan, Griff Rhys-Jones, Huw Edwards, Rob Brydon and Stevo. Attempts to resurrect Warrington club legend, Dai Davies, are unsuccessful.

In the build up to the World Club Challenge, Manly coach Des Hassler accidentally picks up the wrong set of notes in preparation for a press conference ahead of the big game the following month. Instead of saying he is "confident of winning the match" and "preparation couldn't have been better", he reads out a list of reasons why Manly have lost the match before it has even kicked off. A small selection of excuses include "its too cold", "we were unprepared", and my personal favourite "half the squad didn't have a visa to enter the UK".

March
Ashley Klein is appointed one of two referees in charge of Cronulla Sharks' opening game of the NRL season. Ricky Stuart praises both referees despite losing 22-23, and the drop goal not even passing in between the posts in the final second of extra time.

Toulouse open their Championship season with a comfortable win over other Super League licence rejectees, Widnes, at The Stobart Stadium. The away fans begin to taunt the home fans by singing popular terrace chants such as "Super Ligue, vous rencontrez un éclat de rire", "Petite ville de Runcorn" and "nous pouvons vous voir furtivement à." God bless the French sence humour.

April
The RFL announce the Challenge Cup fifth round draw will be in Leeds and broadcast live on the BBC. This is despite reports circulating afterwards in newspapers and on the web that reporters and other broadcasters were locked in a steel cage guarded by several hungry tigers, a moat of viscous sharks and a pissed up Ray French, in between the times the draw was actually made and when it was broadcast. Neil Barker of the Manchester Evening News uses the time to ponder his future in journalism, and completes a life long ambition to become a hair dresser.

The Easter Bunny makes a welcome early appearance for a certain class of people ahead of the Good Friday clash between Wigan and St Helens. Unfortunately, Dave Wheelan double books The JJB Stadium and at the expense of Rugby League, it becomes the first venue to host the 'World Fattest Hooker' competition. The RFL agree the winner out of Keiron Cunningham and Mark Riddell will take the two Super League points back home to their respective clubs.

May
Murrayfield Magic is hailed as a success by The RFL despite a total attendance of 8,373 over two days. As the weekend progresses, the pitch becomes more unplayable thanks to Scotland's traditional Bank Holiday weather. Before the final match, Warrington coach, James Lowes, agrees to let his players run out in camo gear and a paintball gun before fighting in the trenches dug up by the Catalan side as they tried to surrender in the preceding game against Leeds.

Wayne Bennett is unable to mastermind another win for New Zealand as the World Champions go down in the annual Anzac Test in Brisbane. Stephen Kearney refuses to blame referee, Steve Ganson, in the after match press conference but is eventually sacked by the NZRL after an aggressive outburst towards Mr Ganson in a hotel lobby, as witnessed by several RLIF and ARL officials.

June
Due to the success of Murrayfield Magic, The RFL announce there will be a new team from Scotland being brought into the Championship 1 league for 2010. Nigel Woods says, "The team will be based in the Isle of Lewis and will be made up of anyone we can find that might have the characteristics of a Neanderthal." Surprisingly, traditionalists fans are supportive of the idea as it the one ground in the country that stays in winter all year round. As a result, rumours begin to circulate that multi-billionaire, Kris Kringle, is attempting to form a club in in the Lapland region of Finland.

Exiled-Kiwi, Sonny Bill Williams finally attempts to break his contract with French rugby union side, RC Toulonnais. Despite being linked with Catalan, Toulouse and the rest of Super League, Williams signs for French Elite Two Championship side, Montpellier Red Devils. Several days later, Williams deserts his new club and moves back to New Zealand just in time for when the New Zealand government pass a law to bring back capital punishment for treason.

July
The Northern Rail Nines competition is a surprising success as the attendance is actually higher than in the Northern Rail Cup final itself. York City Knights take the inaugural crown but the trophy is sold to an Polish prostitute working in one of Blackpool's back streets. When asked about the whereabouts of the trophy, an unknown player is quoted saying, "It'll have been melted down and used as a silver g-string by now. If you'd have seen the woman, you wouldn't want it back."

The NRL abandon the two referees system in an emergency meeting after New South Wales win the State of Origin series after a penalty was incorrectly awarded to NSW. In a statement, Colin Love said, "It is unacceptable that a sporting match should be the subject of such controversy. Referees should not make mistakes and should therefore be the subject to a week in the stocks before being let free again. Its either that, or sending them to England like we did with Ashley Klein. Having said that, he didn't half screw us over in the World Cup."

August
The RFU announces that from the 2009/10 season it will be using a top six play off system to decide the winners of its top flight league. An RFU spokesman says, "We developed this highly exciting system to extend the competition by just a few weeks to give the fans a tense end to a long campaign. The play off system, as developed by the bosses at Twickenham (!), will see the top two teams given a rest for a week while the remaining four will go through a process of elimination to find out who will face the loser of the top two. The winner of that game will face the other top two side in the final. England coach, Martin Johnson says, "This is a totally original format that has never been used before. I can't believe how smart the people I work with are. They invented the Video Referee, they invented professionalism in rugby and now they have come up with this. Its remarkable."

The Challenge Cup final is put under threat by a freak blizzard, which is in contrast to the previous years final where the temperature was over 30 degrees. York City Knights eventually win the cup, but refuse to comment when asked by a reporter about its whereabouts the day after the final.

September
Paul Wellens, Ade Gardner, Leon Pryce, Rob Burrow, Kevin Sinfield and Danny McGuire all announce their retirement of international Rugby League effective immediately as the build up to the inaugural Four Nations begins. All six players site their reason as "focusing on club rugby" and refuse to attend a warm up camp set up by the RFL as a bonding exercise. Leon Pryce announces he is taking his off season holiday on Sydney's Bondi Beach.

Cronulla win the Minor Premiership in the NRL and things look promising for Ricky Stuart's side ahead of the finals. Unfortunately, being Cronulla, they lose to Souths in the Qualifying Final and then again to Penrith in the following game. Ricky Stuart is sacked after publically blaming the same referee for both losses.

October
Manly win the NRL for the second year in a row defeating opponents, Melbourne. St Helens also lose to Leeds for the third time in a row at Old Trafford. St Helens Chairman, Eamonn McManus (who was against the change in play off format), requests that the play off format be changed on an annual basis until Saints finally win Super League.

Mick Potter is deported from the UK less than 24 hours after his sides loss in the Grand Final due to an unsuccessful visa re-newal.

November
St Helens recruit legendary player, Tom van Vollenhoven as head coach for 2010. Brian Noble is finally sent off the Wigan Mental Instutute for thinking he can ever win anything with Wigan, while Keith Senior marries his year long girlfriend from Australia.

France finish above England in the Four Nations while New Zealand defeat Australia in the final. Rumours begin to circulate the Wayne Bennett cracked a smile.